I have a list. It’s not a revenge list or anything like that. (Those days are over…unless you do something really evil to others. In that case, I may hypothetically have a post-it note somewhere with your name on it.) No, this list is quite enlightened, reflecting my transformed state of inner peace.
I call it my “Crap we must stop doing to ourselves (or else I’ll lose my shi*)” list.
I can’t reveal the entire list today. We’ve been jerks to ourselves for a while now, so it’s pretty long. And, I’m just not sure we are ready to tackle everything at once. Baby steps.
So, let’s start with a single item:
We will no longer begin our inner dialogue by judging ourselves for all the things we didn’t get done, haven’t started, or don’t have yet.
Instead, we will say, “no” to the ugly and treat ourselves with compassion and love. We will dedicate time specifically for acknowledging how far we’ve come. We will vow to reappraise all failures and allow them to be learning that supports our journey. We will treat the things we haven’t started or finished for what they are: goals for moving forward.
An important component of addressing this item is how we choose to define “success.” Success means moving closer to our vision. It’s OK to allow flexibility in how we move towards our vision and at what pace. It’s OK, because what counts to us is really the movement forward.
So, as you head into your weekend, I ask you to gift yourself at least 15 minutes (more if you can) to reflect upon all your 2017 wins. List the successes you had in moving closer to being who you truly are and hitting the goals that align with the vision for your life. Maybe you —
- shifted a belief, mindset, or habit
- finished a project, built something new, or made a life transition
- achieved a major goal
- learned something new or picked up new skills
- deepened or added new relationships
- let go of something that was holding you back
- overcame obstacles
- identified and seized a new opportunity
- found creative solutions and resilience in the face of a less-than-fun problem
- lined up the pieces needed to slay 2018
Try taking a piece of paper and making a box for each area of your life: relationships, physical environment, spiritual growth and well being, work/contribution, financial, health and well being, learning and growth, etc. In each box, try to identify at least 3 wins.
Then, if you really are feeling lit up, make another sheet for 2018. This time around, record the wins as they happen. Schedule 20 minutes each month to reflect and catalog them. Think about what it will feel like to go over this list next December instead of fighting the ugly narrative of “not enough.”
How would it feel to have this sword to wield against the ugly?
For inspiration, I want to share this short recording of Megan McNally’s story:
Forward is a pace. In it, Megan makes us remember that victory is big decisions, trust, and sometimes staggering forward swollen, bruised, and covered in urine and blood. It is setting a vision and moving towards it, enduring breaks to your body and heart but nonetheless persisting and then…celebrating. Because you earned it. And, you deserve it.
And, as always, a few questions to help you get started:
- What 2017 accomplishments are you most proud of?
- What problems or obstacles did you overcome?
- What opportunities did you find and seize?
- How did you move closer to your vision?
- What did you build or put into place that will support you as you continue to strive for your goals?
Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!